Back from Vacation

Sorry I have been away for so long, went to the states to visit family. Afterwards my wife, myself, and my two young children drove down from Pa. to Oaxaca. Somewhere in North Carolina my airconditioning broke down and we had to drive all the rest of the way, during a nationwide heatwave, to Ixtepec. Very hot and very tiring. We came along the coast along the Gulf of Mexico and had the chance to drive through Veracruz, which I found to be a lovely city which I hope to visit again in the future.

Tale of two mexicos

For those not in the know, Mexico just had its Presidential election. Although there are three main parties, PRI, PAN, and PRD. Only the candidates from PAN and PRD presented viable candidacies. In one sense this is a milestone. For decades PRI ran the country as a virtual one party state, last stealing a Presidential election as recently as 1988, because of the blatancy of the fraud the Mexican people demanded and got a fair election agency. In 2000 Vicente Fox of the PAN was elected president for a legally mandated one six year term. PAN or National Action Party is roughly equivalent to the Republican party, the PRD is roughly equivalent to the Democratic Party. Due to its decades of misrule the PRI, although technically the largest party, seems destined to become a minor party unless there are major reforms. In my own informal poll I took around here only the old seem to favor the PRI.
PRD is represented by Luis Obrador, a charismatic, almost messianic, former successful Mayor of Mexico city. Therein lies his main problem. While he initially had a large lead Felipe Calderon, the candidate of the PAN, convinced many middle class that Obrador was a Hugo Chavez in the waiting. As of today Elections officials reported that Calderon won by less than 1% of the vote.
What the future will bring I am not sure, Obrador is contesting the results, demanding a recount but he is also threatening massive demonstrations which confirms the fears that many have of him, that he is for Democracy only if it is for him.
The curious thing about this election, and the reason I titled it tale of two mexicos is that the country was mostly evenly split by region with all of the northern states voting for Calderon and nearly all of the southern states for Obrador, neatly flipping Americas Blue Red divide. Like America the northern states are wealthier and the south is poorer, unlike America the north is more conservative, but this divide is strictly class based unlike Americas divide, which is mostly cultural. In Mexico it seems people vote along the lines of economic self interest. This is not to say that there is no cultural divide in Mexico, the southern states are more ethnically mixed with a greater proportion of orginal americans than in the north.
It was interesting to watch an election based more on economics and quality of life and not on other issues like school prayer, flag burning, war, etc. not that I am equating war with school prayer as an issue, just that neither is an issue at all. Security is an issue, but one based more on routine crime prevention and not based on protection from mass murdering terrorists.
Being in China for so many years I missed the spectacle of daily elections, but democracy in America since 9/11 has taken a dark turn where simply disagreeing in politics makes people call others treasonous or fascist depending on their position. I missed elections based on geniune ideas.
As for me, not being Mexican I kept my opinion mostly to myself, my own economic self interests would have me prefer Calderon, the peso would trade at a higher rate under him, allowing me to take more money home. Personally, I would like to see more attention paid to the southern states, which is what Obrador would certainly do.
Being that this is such a close election the thing I worry about it unrest, I would prefer a runoff election but Mexico is not set up for such a system, so it seems whoever is ultimately certified the winner will lack legitimacy in the eyes of many. Kind of like its neighbor to the north.

26 to 43

These are the years in which a man is in the prime of his life. If he is fortunate and has no major setbacks in life then this is the time in which most men settle down, marry, work, and have children. I am not saying life ends at 43, just that I myself am 43. How quickly these years have passed, yet how eventful, filled with many happy and a few sad memories. It is strange how some memories linger, a snapshot of time in which the world seems right.
About 16 years ago, my mother, myself, one of my nephews, my aunt and uncle, my cousin and his wife and their baby daughter went on a picnic to Nockamixon state park, in Pa. It was a beautiful summer day. The park itself has a lake, picnic areas, and 3 swimming pools, one for small children, one for diving and one for regular swimming. My cousin, Sterling Hendricks, who is a few years older than myself, is very athletic. While I can do a simple flip he was able to do a flip and a half. I was proud of my cousin that day. My cousins daughter, Alyssa, was about one years old and that vividness of that day made her remain frozen as a baby in my mind and it was always a bit of a shock to know that that baby was now a teenager. In those 17 years since that baby was born I have lived so much of my life that is meaningful and precious.
I remember when I was a child and my grandparents died how I felt sorry for myself. I suppose it is natural being that it is in our nature as the succeeding generation to carry that loss with ourselves and to go forward into the hope of the future. I expect to outlive my parents as I expect my children to outlive me. The grief that we bear is outweighed by the love we have of our children. When I die they will carry my hope of the future with them.
Spoken thusly, life seems simple, but life is never simple. That baby girl, who was a baby girl no longer, died last week at the tender age of 17. When my friend Tommy Dayon died early last month I mourned, mourned as much for his wife and children as for him, but Tommy died as he lived, full of adventure and a legacy that will last for generations. But this loss... how and why she died is not important, only that she did die. With the death of a child there is no going forward and no going back. It fills me with terror, I have two young sons, I can not imagine my life without them. My cousin, my Aunt and Uncle, what can I say?
To even outlive a grown child, the man who dies of a heart attack in his 50's or cancer in his 60's, is tragic enough, but to outlive your own grandchild...
Neil Armstrong lost a two year old child to cancer. Even though he was the first man on the moon, a man who will be remembered as long as man lives to remember, a man who has fame, wealth, and who experienced the greatest adventure in history, just knowing that he lost a child I know I would never want to trade lives with him.
God bless the Hendricks family in this time of need.

Success and Failure

Sometimes I feel a little down because I am not living the American version of "the good life" I don't have a nice house in the suburbs with a dog, and a cat, and a white picket fence. Financially, I am in what would be the lower middle class in the United States. In Mexico, it is true I am in the upper middle class and live fairly well by local standards but I am not able to save at the rate I wish. I must admit one of the reasons I left the U.S. is because I no longer wanted to live on the wrong side of financial divide. Being poor in America is like being a servant in a rich mans estate, you are surrounded my the trappings of wealth but unable to possess any. I do not claim any grand solutions to poverty or class division, being a professional slacker precludes me from offering any and I have no problem with people making tons of money provided the pay their fair share of taxes. I do not believe the mere possession of great wealth is an indicator of character. Donald Trump is a pig, no question. But Bill Gates and Warren Buffett are giving away the vast bulk of their estates to build a better world so it is fair to judge what such people do instead of just who they are.
Myself, I am a nobody. Always have been and always will be. I suppose if I continued to live in America I would have developed resentments at the "haves" but here I am pretty much surrounded by "have nots" and it helps keep everything in perspective. Even though I am a nobody, I feel I have lived a very fortunate life. I have seen more of the world than most people. I have tons of free time to read, play video games, etc. I have a very attractive young wife and two healthy beautiful sons. I have no disability or health problems. Life for me is good, better than probably 90% of the worlds population. I don't say any of this to brag, more in a way to count my blessings. I think that being free of petty resentments allow me to view things in slightly more unbiased fashion. I don't measure success on how much money I have or what status I possess, I measure success on the quality of life lived.

Isolation

A way to be a hermit, besides living in the jungle and eating bugs and grass is to move to a foreign country whose language you don't speak and where few people speak English. When I first moved to the countryside in China, and later to the countryside in Mexico there can be weeks that go by where I seldom say more than a few sentences to other people. It is also helping me learn the language a lot quicker then I otherwise would have, but, as of now my Spanish is still fairly low level. The dirt and loneliness ain't so bad, but being a hermit doesn't necessarily mean being hungry. The best part of being this kind of hermit allows me to take a vacation from being myself, to the chinese I am a "laowai" and laowai jiu shi laowai (foreigners are always foreigners). It is pretty much the same here in Oaxaca. I am a guero, or the male equivalent anyway. The real goal of being a hermit is not to be inside yourself but to leave yourself behind.

Tom Dayon: RIP

Here is a picture of Tom, he is the gray haired man in the middle of the picture. The Asian looking boy in the multicolored shirt in the back of the picture is his son Travis. This was at a picnic at his house in New Jersey and everyone was watching a home video of a Martial arts tournament. He had the picnic every year and it was always something I looked forward to, even after I moved abroad I always made sure if I were to go home for a visit to make sure it was around the same time as his picnic. He had a unique way of making people feel welcomed and accepted.

Absence

I had mentioned in one of my previous posts that I take a part of America with me wherever I go, but I also leave an important part behind. Certainly, one of the most difficult things about living abroad is being separated from friends and loved ones for extended periods of time. Yahoo messenger with video, internet phoning, and emailing make the distance seem smaller but it is never enough. Friends go out, children grow up, relatives get together for dinner, all without my presence. The opportunities and adventures of living abroad must be weighed against what is lost. It is a trade off that many people can not accept, and I understand why. It is a way of life I accept often with regret and some small measure of guilt. And there are days when it is filled with deep sadness.
Thomas Dayon of West Milford New Jersey died on June 2 when his single engine airplane he was flying alone in crashed in New York. Tommy was and is a much beloved man in West Milford, and as much a fixture of the town as the Post Office or the Library. He owned Hewitt lumber supply for many years. I knew him for nearly sixteen years and if I had half of Tommys energy my webpage would instead be called expatmillionaire. He was a decent and generous man, even after having a houseful of three beautiful girls he and his wife adopted a Korean boy. Never have a man and boy been more suited to be father and son as Tommy and Travis, forever putting to rest the lie that only blood makes a family. He had the exuberance of a man half his still young 53, doing everything from water skiing, sky diving, to martial arts- you name it, Tommy tried it and was good at it. If they have team sports in heaven then I say watch out St. Peter and make sure you are on Tommys side if you want to win. He will be forever missed and always in our hearts.